WHO ARE YOU?
Have you ever seen The Girl Next Door? It’s a film about an adult moviestar named Danielle who decides to leave the industry. She moves to a small town and meets an innocent young man who helps her transition into mainstream life. Now, during the film, there’s a part where the young man, Matthew, makes a bit of a mistake. His actions, coupled with the negative influence of a former coworker, causes Danielle to go back to the business.
Why am I telling you this? Because there’s a piece of dialogue right before Danielle returns to the industry that goes like this:
Matthew: “ So that’s it? You’re just going back?”
Danielle: “I don’t belong here.”
Matthew: “ What do… what do you mean? What about starting over?”
Danielle: “This is what I am.”
Now, at this point in the story, Danielle has come such a long way and the audience knows she can change her life. And, it turns out that, with a bit of encouragement, she does too. Her belief that she couldn’t step away from that world didn’t last long…. A whole 24 hours, in fact.
Why do you think her mind changed so fast?
Why do you think she was able to go from “This is what I am.” To “This is what I’m not going to be.” So quickly?
I’m going to let you in on a secret… are you ready?
She just decided to.
You are what you say you are—nothing else!
When I was growing up, I had insecurities about my disability. I was convinced that no one would ever give me a chance in the professional world because they could easily hire a fullyabled human being. I thought that I would be a liability. I had literally talked myself into believing that I was useless in a professional setting.
I thought I was useless. I told myself I was useless. I said that I was useless, so I was useless.
Eventually, I grew tired of the negativity surrounding the labels that I had given myself. I decided it was time for a change. I began to alter my mentality and surround myself with a proper support system. I stopped telling myself that I would be seen as a liability. Within 6 months, I had a full time job, a salary, benefits, the works.
The reality is, we restrict ourselves with the labels and characteristics that we convince ourselves we have.
We say that we’re not good at relationships, that we procrastinate, that we’re shy, that we’re anti-social, and thousands upon thousands of other labels.But are we really those things, or have we just convinced ourselves that they are true? Was I a liability? No, I had just convinced myself I was. I had given myself that label.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this requires a little bit of work on your part. This is not about telling yourself that you’re not a liar while you lie through your teeth to everyone you know and love. This is about taking action to ensure that, you can shake a certain quality if it’s what you really want. You have the power.
In my particular case, I went out and achieved certifications, took professional development courses, developed my support system and changed my entire attitude. I took these steps so that, even if a possible employer was worried about my potential, I could still feel confident that my skills and personality would shine through.
The bottom line is, you can be anyone you want to be. Tools exist in this world for you to obtain and achieve anything you want, be anyone you want, do anything you can possibly dream of. All you need to do is, want it, believe it, and go for it.
Have the best day of your life!